First, I would like to introduce myself. I am Danny the Dog and I live on a boat with my human, Andrew. He’s okay … for a human. But today I want to talk about two of my most favorite things in the world.
First: turkey slices. Every morning I take Andrew out for his walk, and, after we return, he’ll give me a few turkey slices (yummy). More on this ritual next week! At first it was only one slice. But I eventually conned him into giving me a second slice, and then a third. Andrew is so malleable.
Allow me to explain. I have my demands down to single-bark commands. The way it works is that I’ll bark once if I want Andrew to do something for me. For example, if he doesn’t hop to within thirty seconds, I bark again, just once. That usually does it. I seldom have to bark a third time.
Now on to my next great joy—chasing anything with wheels on it. Don’t you just love to chase cars? Well, I do. I must admit, I don’t always do it, but when I do, I do it with a vengeance. Once, Andrew had me tied to a tree while he was communing with nature or whatever he does when he’s around trees (I use trees for a completely different purpose). We were hanging out by this building and a big truck, an eighteen-wheeler, drove by. I couldn’t resist. I went after it full force. But wouldn’t you know it? The damn leash stopped me two feet from the damn truck! The driver slammed on his brakes and had a pained look on his face because he thought he had run me over. So it wasn’t all for naught.
The last thing I want to tell you about is the time I bounced off the wheel of a pickup truck. Somehow I connived to get off the leash that Andrew insists I be tethered to whenever we’re outside. Anyway, he was distracted by something, and our neighbor, Beth, came tooling by in her truck. It was too good an opportunity to pass up and I tore out after the offending vehicle. Well, I’m embarrassed to say so, but I misjudged my trajectory. I hit the front wheel dead center and bounced off the hubcap. Poor Beth thought she had run me over. Andrew had a heart attack. And I just stood there with a dazed look and a big grin on my face. After all, when Beth stopped, I had won—I had captured the truck!
That’s about it for now. If I hurry, I might be able to catch a few cars before Andrew finds out I’m not on the leash.
Go get ’em, Danny!
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Danny says to tell you he will go get ’em as long as he is able.
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😀
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Dogs are such loveable critters — moreso than humans.
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I love dogs!!!! But Danny gives me a few headaches.
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I have had more than one like that. It makes me wonder if dogs and cat have “foster care syndrome” too?
One of the hardest had been taken back to the pound twice. It took a lot of patience and love, but finally she decided she wasn’t going to take me back to the pound. She sleeps next to me every night.
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A wonderful story.
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Extremely readable from an extremely lovable dog.
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Danny agrees with you about the “lovable dog” part.
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Danny, I had a corgi once, who liked chasing anything with wheels. It gave me heart attacks, too, so I sympathise with Andrew.
I think Johnnie’s (the corgi) habit came from a desire to get revenge for once being hit by a car. At that time, he ran across the road after me when I was on my way to school, although he’s been told he couldn’t come. Fortunately, he wasn’t badly hurt, but chased wheeled things ever after!
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Thank God Johnnie lived to chase a few cars now and then. Danny tells me it’s a lot of fun.
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What an imp! He clearly gave you some heart attacks, Andrew (just to keep you on your toes, you softie!)
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I wouldn’t exactly call Danny an imp. Something a little stronger might be in order.
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Little devil?
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Be careful, Danny. We need someone around spilling the dirt on Andrew.
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Danny says: Yeah, there’s a lot of dirt I can dish up about Andrew. Stay tuned.
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Oh the joys of capturing a truck. 🙂
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Danny knew you would understand.
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Danny, be a good boy and send Andrew some turkey slices every morning!
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Danny’s been sending me a beer every morning in lieu of turkey slices.
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Those hub caps can hurt. In fact, catching trucks can hurt too. Thanks, Andrew.
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Do you speak from experience, John?
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I’m sure Danny is catching ALL the trucks now!
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I’m sure the son of a bitch is doing whatever he wants … including catching eighteen wheelers!
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AND teaching Peri how to abandon a lifetime of being the good dog…
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I’m sorry about that.
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