Written by Andrew Joyce

John McCain

McCain

I am so sorry that John McCain is dead. I’m really sad, I mean really, really fuckin’ sad that he’s gone. I had one—just one—question I wanted to ask him. And now, I’ll never know the answer to that question. Fuck!

Hello, kind and gentle reader. It is I, Andrew Joyce. Once again, I have come to enrich your lives. Not that your lives need that much enriching, but I do what I can. Much like Jesus. Anyway, back to Mister … I mean, Senator McCain.

Recently, most of the nation has mourned his passing. And that’s cool … if you want to mourn a war criminal. Have any of you ever asked yourselves what ordnance McCain dropped while flying his missions over Vietnam?

He dropped burning gasoline on children playing in front of their huts. He dropped bombs on mothers carrying their babies. Then he flew back to the carrier, got himself a beer, and met his buddies in the ship’s movie theater to watch a first-run movie. May his soul rot in hell!

What was he defending? As I remember it, the Viet Cong were not storming Miami Beach. I know because I was there, trying to get laid … to no avail.

Now, before you all get your panties in a twist, hear this. Yes, once he was shot down and refused release unless the rest of the POWs could go with him, speaks highly of the man. And I’m with you on that. But, if he dropped burning gasoline on your child, would you still think him a hero? I kinda doubt it. But maybe your kid’s a loser and the world would be better off without him or her. Too bad McCain ain’t around anymore to burn that loser kid of yours to death. But keep the faith. There are plenty more McCains out there.

I’m sorry … I’m getting off track here. Back to the motherfucker. Okay, he was young and believed the bullshit … or maybe he didn’t. Maybe he just felt like a hotshot, slinging off that deck, going out to rain down horror and death onto men, women, and children. Damn! I bet that beer tasted good when he got back to the ship.

Believe it or not, I give him a pass for all that shit. I wouldn’t want to stand in front of Jesus and try to explain it … but that’s his problem. My problem is trying to get you guys to know what a motherfuckin’ warmonger he was.

John McCain never met a war he didn’t love. And if there was no war, he’d try his damndest to get our country into one. The guy was frothing at the mouth to start a war. What the fuck was the matter with that guy? And if you don’t believe me, go check out his record as a senator. (I wanted to say: If you don’t believe me, then go fuck yourself. But my editor said I had to be nice. So I won’t say it.)

Alright, in closing … the world is a whole lot better off without people like McCain. And you want to know why? It’s high time that we stopped killing one another so “defense contractors” can make billions. It’s high time that we stopped letting other people, i.e., the assholes in congress, tell us what the fear du jour is. I have enough trouble with the soup du jour at my local beanery.

I’ll leave you with the words of a master (paraphrased, of course). I like this guy. He wasn’t perfect, but he had one or two good ideas. Now, once again, correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t the son-of-a-bitch say something like this: Love every goddamn motherfucker on this planet like you’d love yourself or did I just imagine that?

McCain, metaphorically speaking, wanted to kill everyone … every goddamn motherfucking person that disagreed with the Exceptional U.S. of Fuckin’ A. If they didn’t suck our collective cock, he wanted to kill ’em.

Jesus was cool … “My kingdom is not of this world.”

Love … not fear … will get us into that kingdom.

John McCain, you better hope Jesus and his Old Man live up to their reputation regarding mercy. Because if any motherfucker (besides me) ever needed to be sent straight to hell, you’re the one.

Andrew Joyce signing off. I got shit to do and I really should not have taken the time to post this rant. But I wanted to piss ya all off. I was bored. I mean, what the fuck is the internet for, if not for porn and pissing people off?

Andrew Joyce

August 2018 (and on his way to hell)

32 thoughts on “John McCain”

  2. And the really sad thing about all this, Andrew, is that McCain was a more honorable man than the Republicans who currently sit in Washington and risk the health, welfare, and standing of an entire country for ideology and personal gain. At least he believed that healthcare might be important to people. My rant: 33,000 Americans lose their lives every year to gun violence – men women and children – and half of the men and women in Congress couldn’t give a crap. That’s a 9/11 every month and tops the annual casualties of war. I have no respect for any of them.

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  5. I hear ya, Andrew. While I don’t agree, I appreciate what you say. Hey, you are the master of saying how it is (and of course telling the best stories, ever). Did the rant help? How are you?

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  6. Hi Andrew,
    At first, I was not going to respond to your rant. As John stated as an American you have the right to say what you want and piss anyone off that you chose. In 1966 I was a college student and as did so many young men, opposed the Vietnam War. When I lost my student deferment at no fault of anyone other than myself, I could either let them draft me or enlist. I chose the later. When you are in the military your political or humanitarian opinions do not matter. You are trained to follow orders and do your job. In short, I served this country, put my life at risk just as other veterans including John McCain did. Unknowingly I may have put civilian lives at risk, but I did not do it conscientiously with intent. Although the Vietnam War was not a direct threat to our country as some previous and later wars, it was a threat to our principals and beliefs. Hence, an excess of fifty-eight thousand men and women lost their lives to protect these liberties and rights including your rights to say or write your opinions. There is no such thing as a just war. There is nothing righteous about war. Unless a veteran of war has not broken the law or failed to follow legitimate orders of his superiors, he or she should be honorably recognized for their service to this country. What John McCain did or didn’t do a congressman or senator has no bearing on what he did and sacrificed as a military man serving his country. If you allow this to be posted, I appreciate you allowing me to respond.

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    2. Why wouldn’t I allow it to be posted? But I must respectfully disagree with a few points. But before I do. I want to say that I take nothing away from men (and now women) who have been in war. War is beyond horrible. It changes you and becomes the defining moment of your life. Talking to Vietnam vets over the years, I’ve found that they come in two sizes. They either believe it was a just war or the believe they were lied to and are pissed off. Anyway you want to play it is fine with me. But it was lie. That’s history.
      Okay here goes: “… it was a threat to our principals and beliefs.” It was no such thing. It was a lie to the American people. It was bullshit. All the Vietnamese people wanted was to get the damn French out of their country. During WWII we told them that if they helped us against the Japanese, then after the war we’d make sure the French left. Of course, we lied. Ho Chi Minh fought bravely for us during the war, and when it was over, and he asked us to keep out promise, we told him to go fuck himself. What was he gonna do? He couldn’t sue us for breach of promise. So he came to us and asked for military aid, a few million dollars. We laughed him out of the country. (Check out how the CIA treated him. The story is too long to go into here.)
      So after we reject him, he went to the Soviet Union. They were more than happy to give him all the help he needed. All he had to do was declare his country communist.
      Well, that got our attention. And the rest is history. Remember the “Domino Theory?” Talk about bullshit.
      In 1968 I was 18 yrs. old. A real idiot. Kinda like now. I used to watch Walter Cronkite. Every night he would come on and give the body count of how many “enemy” we killed that day. Numbers supplied by Westmoreland. The numbers were unbelievable. After a few months of that shit, I got a world atlas and looked up the population of Vietnam. According to that atlas we had killed the entire population of Vietnam three times over. Westmoreland got caught in the lie years later. Google “The Uncounted Enemy.” It was just one lie after another with those assholes.
      I remember seeing Westmoreland on TV talking about the war being a war of attrition. Because we had more kids to send to die then the North Vietnamese we were bound to win. That was the asshole’s strategy!
      And don’t get me started on the South Vietnamese government. We were fighting to prop up one of the most corrupt governments ever known to man. Google that too.
      And what principals and beliefs do we have as a country if we attack a country that is no threat to us?
      I’m pissed off for you, for all the other guys that fought with you, all the guys that never made it back, and for my family members who died in that war … who died for a lie.
      My point of the post was that: Okay, I’m giving McCain a pass for when he was young. He didn’t know any better. But as a fully grown adult who had been to war, to avocate war every five minutes is beyond the pale for me. And I didn’t hear anyone saying that. All I heard was what a fuckin’ saint he was, and I felt a little correction was necessary.

      P.S. I strongly suggest that you check into “The Uncounted Enemy.” And I hope we are still friends.
      P.S.S. You should read Robert McNamara’s (Defense Secretary) book “In Retrospect.” In it he says he knew the VietNam War was lost by mid 1966. Yet he still sent men like you over there. What the fuck was that about? He said he did it out of loyalty to President Johnson. How about being loyal to our country … how about being loyal to the men he was sending out to kill and perhaps be killed? How about that?

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  8. You’ve made me stop and think, Andrew. Not something that happens often these days. I think I’ve got too lazy, jaded or something. I remember the Vietnam war–how terrible it was, and how unjust. And what has it accomplished? Nothing at all. North Vietnam is still there, causing misery for its people. Come to think of it, what has any war accomplished? People have to talk in the end, so why not at the beginning?
    As to John McCain. Well, as a Brit I don’t know enough about him to comment, but if what you say is true, then he will probably be burning now. In Hades, people’s punishment was related to their sin, as I remember it. So burning is probably what is happening. Unless there is re-incarnation, when he’ll be born again to try to learn from his mistakes this time around.

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  12. John McCain was a flawed man, and at the end, to my mind, petty and mean-spirited, say what you like about Trump. Never did understand what the hell we were doing in Vietnam, spent most of my time trying to keep the protesting undergraduates from antagonizing the police. And welcomed the returning soldiers. Thanks for the post. Puts things in perspective.

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    1. We’re all flawed. That’s why we’re here … to get unflawed. I just couldn’t take all the talk of what a great man he was. If, at my funeral, anyone says that I was a great guy, I’m gonna throw up … if spirits can throw up.

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  13. Yup. He did like to wield the sword of American justice. And I freely acknowledge that it was formerly known as the sword of British justice. In both instances the word ‘justice’ is merely garnish and not meant to be consumed.

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    1. MLK was against the war. That’s why Hoover and the rest of the government went after him, hammer and tongs. God bless America and all the wars we start. Fuck Jesus and His message of love. What a motherfuckin’ wimp He was.

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        1. Maybe what you were really ranting about was the pain of losing Danny. Life without our best furbuddy is hard, enough to put anyone into a moody blue random rant. Not saying the rant subject wasn’t solid enough reason, but he eas hardly worth all that typing.

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